Hosting a kids’ party can be a lot of fun, but it also comes with its own set of unspoken rules. From managing guest lists to keeping things on schedule, a little etiquette can go a long way in making the day enjoyable for everyone involved. Whether you’re throwing the party or attending as a guest, here are some essential dos and don’ts to keep in mind.
Don’t stress: we’ve got you covered with a comprehensive guide on kids’ party etiquette and the dos and don’ts that will make your child’s birthday party as smooth and hassle-free as possible.
The Dos and Don’ts of a Kids’ Party
How many kids to invite?
If it were up to your child, they’d likely want to invite the entire class, all their football teammates, neighbour friends, and even nearby distant relatives. While that might sound wonderful, hosting a party of that size can be overwhelming and often impractical, especially if you’re working with a budget.
So how do you know where to draw the line?
A common rule of thumb is to invite as many children as your child’s age plus one (for example, four kids for a third birthday, seven for a sixth, and so on).
This approach not only makes the party more manageable but also helps ensure everyone has a good time. Younger children can easily become overwhelmed by too much social interaction, so keeping the group smaller allows them to enjoy the experience without feeling stressed. As they grow, gradually increasing the number of guests can help them develop their social skills and confidence.
That said, this rule isn’t universal! It all comes down to your child’s personality. Do they prefer smaller gatherings or thrive in larger groups? Additionally, consider the planned activities and the amount of space available when deciding on the guest list.
Bigger parties
Some schools now have guidelines suggesting you invite the entire class, but this isn’t always necessary. That said, if you’re planning to invite most of the class while excluding just a couple of children, it’s better to invite everyone. No one wants to feel left out, and including all classmates helps avoid hurt feelings.
If a big party isn’t within your budget but you still want your child to celebrate with all of their classmates, you can ask their teacher if your kid can bring a small birthday treat to class. Think doughnuts, cupcakes or homemade brownies – this way the whole class will feel included in the celebration (just be sure to check with the school first as there may well be rules in place for this kind of thing).
Alternatively, if the birth dates coincide, you can share the party with another classmate. Just don’t fall into the trap of automatically doing this every year.
Kids’ Party Etiquette for invitations
Kids are remarkably resilient, but it’s important to be mindful of how invitations are distributed. If you’re not inviting the whole class, it might be better to give invitations discreetly to parents, send them through the post, or use email to avoid any uncomfortable situations.
Whether you choose paper or digital invites, make sure they include all the key details: the date, time, location, and who the party is for. It’s also helpful to include both the start and end times so parents know when to pick up their children.
Do I need to expect RSVPs?
It’s completely normal to expect parents to RSVP, as you need to ensure there are enough treats for everyone who attends. Make sure to send out the invitations with enough notice so parents can plan, but not so early that they might forget about the party. Around two to three weeks in advance is usually a good timeframe.
If someone doesn’t reply to your invitation, don’t hesitate to reach out and give them a call. This is also a great opportunity to remind them of the time and date of the party, and to ask about any food allergies or dietary requirements.
Parental Kids’ Party Etiquette
Some parents automatically assume a birthday party means a few hours of peace and quiet and will happily drop their kid off and leave, while the over-zealous type may prefer to keep watch.
Another rule of thumb of kids’ party etiquette states that you can expect parents to accompany children under five, while older children are normally dropped off.
To avoid any confusion, be clear on the invitation. If you don’t mind parents attending, make sure to cater to their needs too – a Saturday afternoon party is all that much better with a glass of wine and a few adults snacks.
It’s also worth remembering that kids parties are a bit of an exchange game, so if you think you can handle a drop off party, you might just get one in return 😉
What about food?
What’s a birthday party without some cake? However, children can become unmanageable if they over-indulge in sweets so make sure to provide healthy snacks, too (we guarantee you, it will make you immensely popular amongst the other parents).
Depending on how long the party is, you can also serve hot dogs, chicken nuggets, pizza, and sandwiches – they’re relatively easy to make and serve, and are a total hit with the little ones (you can find lots more ideas for party food on our blog here).
It’s also a good idea to have a cake that’s big enough for at least half the children to have seconds. Most will be too shy to ask for more but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
Party Games
The rule of successful kids’ parties states that if you plan any party activities, you always need to include two more games or crafts than you think you will need.
Children can become bored with an activity fairly quickly or may finish it faster than expected. As a general rule, plan 3-5 crafts or games for a party that’s last between one and a half and two hours. For longer parties, you’ll probably need 4-6 activities.
If you’re handing out prizes, make sure you keep them fairly small – stickers or small packets of sweets are the best. Include non-competitive games too to encourage the kids to work together in teams.
If this part sounds intimidating, then hiring a kids entertainer might be the perfect solution.
Party Bags
Party favours, or goody bags, are a staple of the kids’ party etiquette. You don’t have to break the bank to be a good host – make a small party bag with a few toys and candy, and make sure there’s one for every child attending the party.
Sometimes, unconfirmed guests may show up at the last moment or a parent may arrive with the guest’s sibling or siblings. In this case, you shouldn’t feel obligated to provide them with party bags but it’s always good to have a few extras so everyone feels included.
Looking for some ideas on what to out in your party bags? Check out this blog: What should you put in a kids’ party bag?
When to open the gifts?
Kids’ birthday gifts are like Pandora’s box: once opened, they can unleash a total nightmare! Your child may announce they hate what they got, or be reluctant to part with it, or simply not appear grateful at all. To avoid this completely, you can decide not to open gifts at the party, especially if the guests are five years old or younger.
If you decide to open the gifts at the party, remind the kids what gifts represent and make sure you teach your child to say ‘thank you’ after opening each box (even when they get duplicates).
Make sure you encourage your child to write thank-you notes, even if they thanked the guest in person. This teaches consideration, gratitude and important writing skills that will last them a lifetime. Smaller kids may struggle to write the entire note but can sign their autograph or draw a picture to send their thanks.
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